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(no subject) [May. 3rd, 2006|12:56 am]
[music |Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter]

I am going to kill crazy girl one of these days. If she so much as says hi to me on Thursday...No, not really. There's that whole jail thing. Yeah.

This is getting kind of ridiculous, having two journals - one for House/Wilson stuff and rants that I don't want people I actually know to see. The rant part is sort of an excuse. I don't rant too often here these days, and not about people who actually might read what I say (and if crazy girl sees this, fucking awesome! Or not, I'd rather confront her personally. She's crazy, though, and I'm really hoping that it doesn't have to come to that. Can't predict what she'll do to me. She slapped a guy who made a marginally homophobic joke once. If I get stuck working with her...I can imagine having to act as her patient for traction splinting and winding up with a tourniquet around my leg. Or an actual mid-shaft femur fracture. After seeing her blatant inabilty during KEDing on Saturday, I'm not even sure the tourniquet would even be on purpose. I've never seen someone so inept.

Oh God. Crazy girl sent out an email, asking if anyone wants to do a study group for the final exam on the 16th. Hell no. And I can't help but be a bit freaked out that my email is the first one in the email field. It does not automatically come up like that, she put mine first. Not alphabetically. Not copied and pasted from the official emails we got from the instructor (those are alphabetical).

So, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Admiting to the few friends I have over at the other username that I totally enjoy reading House/Wilson slash. They sort of know, so what's the big deal? I mocked one of them for being part of a House/Cameron community. I totally deserve any mocking I'll get, and I can take it in stride. And I can just add the communities and ask the few of you sort of friends I have here to kindly replace this username with the other one. Again. Because when I went from being the suitcase to the shoebox, it was because I accidentally replied to someone over there while logged in here. So I deleted the account, which was essentially a big, fat lie about something. It's not like I post that much differently. I don't really have two split personalities going or anything weird like that. If anything, I might be a little more emo over here, but I don't think I've been overly emo in a while. Although, I'm not sure how much of a joke "Hooray! You're not heartless after all," was. Maybe I've got some kind of reputation to uphold that I'm not fully aware of. Sarcasm is so difficult to detect sometimes on the internet.
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(no subject) [Apr. 25th, 2006|02:57 am]
[Current Location |Rolling Stones - I Got the Blues]

My eyeballs are bugging out of my skull from adding up statistics on crew members of various ships that sailed out of New London, CT from 1805-1862. There are too many variables to control in this little experiment, and whatever kind of paper I write is going to suck as a result. But it will be better than bullshitting for 5 pages about various themes in sea shanties (or maybe I could just write a paper on the multitude of ways various authors spell that word. Shanties? Shanteys? Chanties? Chanteys? I've seen them all), and that's all that matters.

Of course, it's 3am, and I said I was going to leave the library an hour ago.
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(no subject) [Apr. 12th, 2006|03:12 am]
[music |Lucero - Drink Til We're Gone]

I am an idiot. I am a fucking idiot. Sure, it was an imaginary patient, and I've got plenty of other attempts to get it right because of this, but fuck. Trauma! I fucked up trauma! No one fucks up trauma. Well, unless you're crazy girl, but no one wants to be crazy girl. Maybe crazy girl doesn't mind being herself, but I sure as hell don't want to be her. FUCKING AaslfjhSL;FDJHsf!!!!! The first time we had practicals I aced trauma. And I didn't fail this time for lack of studying. I wish I could blame an overly cocky attitude. That would make this a lot easier, and maybe I could go get some sleep. Trauma! I fucking passed medical on Thursday. I knew I should have done the trauma assessment then, too. I wouldn't have forgotten to put the collar on. I fucking forgot that! And I wouldn't have missed the blatantly obvious insufficient respirations. Fucking hell I am stupid. Thursday I was more alert or something. I noticed when the TA didn't even realize she gave the patient low BP and advised adminstering nitro. I don't know what happened.
Crap, this ended up being longer than I thought. Tales of crazy girl behind the cut.Collapse )
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(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2006|12:51 am]
[music |David Bowie - Subterraneans]

I get what Marty was saying about this album. Totally needs to be listened to on vinyl. It makes no sense as one linear tracklisting. All the Eno stuff is putting me to sleep. If I had my record player (and this was a record rather than mp3s), I wouldn't have to go near side B, and I'd be all the happier for it. Not that it's bad, it's just too chill. Coming from the person who moshes around their room to angry hardcore and shitty metalcore, this should be taken in context.

Don't even know where to begin with Colorado plans. I'll get tickets and book my flight tomorrow, and just hope Kat calls me back. More importantly, calls me back and doesn't say she's flying out to Milwauke or something instead. The whole idea is cool with my mom (integral part in providing transportation to the airport), she's not going to make me paint the house and do all sorts of shit like that before leaving. Probably because she knows I've got EMT exams in mid-June and I have to come back pretty soon. I've never been off the east coast. It will be rad. And Nine Inch fucking Nails at Red Rocks. How cool will that be? The answer is very, very cool.
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(no subject) [Mar. 23rd, 2006|06:37 pm]
[music |nothing.]

I am bored! That's probably a given, seeing as I think I only log in here when I'm bored. The only time my mom could give me a ride into town to go to work tonight was at 5:30, and work isn't until 8. So I'm killing time at the library. I shouldn't be bored. I've still got a pile of work that needs to get done, and spring break is quickly coming to an end. But isn't that always the case?

Graaaaaah adl;hsfhlijsdgklsgdjlsdsfdljsfd.
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(no subject) [Mar. 21st, 2006|03:46 am]
[music |NIN - The Becoming]

If I hadn't taken that nap this afternoon, I would be asleep now. The plan is to be in bed by 4.

And find my watch. I've got to make it stop beeping, but I've got no idea where it actually is. My room is a mess.

This should (unless I totally fuck up and fail all my classes) be my last spring break. Good to see I'm spending it the same way I've spent all the others. I am bored. Not tired, just bored. I'm working tomorrow night, Thursday, and Friday. I went to Boston on Saturday. That was fun. So it's not like I did absolutely nothing. Just mostly nothing.

Oh, and my mom has a horribly distorted perspective of me. She thinks I'm a mature, focused adult. Where she got that from, I have no idea. She told me to drop the whole "I hate people" act the other day, it's getting old and isn't funny anymore. Right. I'm actually a fucking social butterfly! I had loads of friends in high school, and I really love everyone in my dorm! College kidz r teh gr8est!!!!!1!!1!! They don't manage to piss me off on a daily basis. I made all that shit up about "Where's Ottawa Girl" and "What the heck is a bovine" to be funny. Trust me, the last thing I think I am is funny. I seem to think that certain things are blatantly obvious. Apparently they're not. I'm just realizing that the me my family saw go through high school is very different from the me that was really here. Is here. I'm still here, and I'm definitely the same person. I haven't changed since I was 14. Anything before that is up for debate, but I'm sure Kat would tell you 4 year old me is the same as 21 year old me. 4? Maybe 5. How old are you in preschool? Can't remember.

I bought a guitar. I should be saving money, of course, but I finally went and bought an electric guitar. As a result, I'm playing it and my acoustic much more, just in the last couple days. It's awesome. I still suck at it, but I'm having fucking fun. I taught my brother some chords. I let my brother play my guitar! Used to be touch my guitar, you die. I just thought it would be kind of cool.

long-ass meme swiped from celticfaerie2Collapse )
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(no subject) [Mar. 15th, 2006|02:07 am]
[music |Sufjan Stevens - Chicago]

Swollen, infected fingernail. Totally my fault. The last time this happened, I swore I'd stop biting my nails. I don't think I've ever bit them because I was nervous, more like it gives me something to do when I'm bored in class and can't make lists or draw things. Yay irrational fear of people reading over my shoulder. I even wrote my to-do list in Russian the other day because I figured the chances of the kid next to me a) speaking the language and b) being able to read my handwriting/understand any potentially atrocious grammar were pretty slim. My handwriting in English is bad, but not bad enough to gaurentee total privacy.

These four songs sound fucking awesome together. I should go to sleep, but instead I think I will make a mix around them:
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt
Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
Nine Inch Nails - Right Where It Belongs
Gary Jules - Mad World
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(no subject) [Mar. 13th, 2006|12:48 am]
[music |Nine Inch Nails - Wish (live version)]

How exactly do you get rid of a psychopath? I know from experience that telling a crazy person "go away, I don't like you," even when they ask if you like them, doesn't actually work. Hinting you wouldn't mind seeing them thrown off a 4-storey balcony doesn't work. I've never met a crazy person who gets subtlety. More importantly, psychogirl doesn't get it. Saturday was interesting. Unfortunately, the interesting part was not entirely attributed to being KEDed twice, having various limbs put into traction splints, and generally being poked and prodded while being assigned the roles of 16 year old car accident victim and 60 year old with breathing problems. Too much sitting around and waiting, and too much time spent avoiding psychogirl. Getting up at 6:30am to do that stuff and then working til 3am with an excursion into town between (and an adventure in avoiding the masses who decided the weather was too nice to stay home), not totally enjoyable either.

Today was comparatively less sucky, I guess. Finally deposited several paychecks (I definitely needed the money to be in the bank), did laundry, ate real food, got hit with a baseball. Last time I was home, I made a deal I'd play that stupid movie triva game with him if he washed all the dishes. He claimed I owed him two games, but I managed to get one of those changed to a game of catch. That's when he beaned me with the ball. Jackass. After home, I came back here and went to work. I called some kid an asshole. It happened pretty early in the night, people pissed me off. Maybe I made it three minutes into shift before this douchebag came in. The deathglare was in full effect by 11:42 when this delivery guy came in, laughed, and told me I always look like I'm up to no good. I told him I was plotting to take over the world. World domination, reading about the French Revolution - same thing, right?

"You know me, I hate everyone." I love this song.
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(no subject) [Mar. 9th, 2006|11:48 pm]
[music |Tim McGraw - Back When]

So I aced the assessment of the unresponsive patient in the trauma scenario and messed up on the medical where I had to talk to the guy. No, that's not a good sign. Not my fault, (denial, no...ha)I blame the TAs. The TA my group had when we learned medical assessments sucked. We had the insane guy for trauma, and that's why I remembered all the steps. 68 tiny details on the scoring sheet, I only missed 3. And they weren't really things I missed, they didn't apply to the unresponsive patient. I mentioned she had a radial pulse when I got to the extremities, but she was supposed to be unconscious. That's carotid all the way during the initial assessment (and that's what I did). Guess I was still supposed to mention them, but the TA didn't seem to think it was a big deal.

Written part wasn't so great. Multiple choice is the bane of my existence. There were only two questions I didn't know, but I got an extra 16 (out of 100, so I got an 82. Bah) wrong because I changed my answers when I looked over the damn thing. Fucking stupid.

My roommate has taken to wearing earplugs to sleep, presumably because I'm usually awake all night. And no, I do not feel bad about this. I am going to go to sleep earlier tonight.
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(no subject) [Mar. 9th, 2006|03:20 am]
[music |Rolling Stones - Let it Loose]

Paper is done. It's not great, but I'm not horribly embarrased by its suckiness. Now to focus on passing the practical (I think we've got a written exam, too. Oh joy) for the EMT class tomorrow night. Or tonight. Whatever day it is. Sleep? Sleep would be good!
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